Updated: Dec 31, 2018
Did I mention that August is the month of new beginnings? Well, the number eight (8) signifies new beginning in the Bible, so therefore August, the eighth month, is usually thought of as the month of new beginnings.
What are you igniting anew?
For me, its a new mindset. Not a "I went to an empowerment conference and now I'm ready to launch a new venture" mindset. My new mindset has more to do with how I value things. I am soooo happy I am no longer stuck on material things---meaning brands and labels.
So, last month (July) I was in straight hustle mode. I was sorting, packing, and throwing out all kinds of stuff in preparation of my move. On July 7, it was a Saturday, my niece and I were in our second trip of the day to the county dumpster/donation/recycle unit. I had tons of books that I no longer wanted to keep, but didn't want to throw away. Soooo, I was told to take them to the county.
As mentioned, we got to the unit for the second time at around noon. It was hotter than hot as we waited in line for our turn to unload and sort my "junk". So, I pulled up, turned off my car, and unloaded the second of about two more loads of books and stuff. However, when I got back in my car to drive off......my car would not start.
Did I mentioned that it was hotter than hot that day?
So, one of the attendants told me to be patient as he served the other cars, but would try to jump my car when he got the line down. We waited. Impatiently. It was hot. Finally, the dude came and tried to jump my car, but with no luck. It would not ignite.
About my car......
Kay, as I called her, was one of my proudest purchases. I bought Kay in 2006. That year I was thriving in real estate and wanted to purchase my dream car, a brand new 2006 BMW. So, my mother and sister drove me to the BMW dealer and within ONE HOUR, I drove off the lot while checking off a life goal. Kay only had 36 miles on her and came with so many bells and whistles they gave me a headache discovering over the years.
I named my baby Kay after the person who sold me the car. She was a sistah, and the only female salesperson in a swarm of predominately white males at the BMW dealer in Towson, Maryland. We walked in....and I walked straight to her. I didn't know her, but knew that I wanted her to make a commission off of me. I went to that specific dealer knowing exactly what I wanted and had a cashier's check in hand determined to walk out with my dream car.
For years, me and Kay hung. She was pretty and I felt good driving her. Loved ones felt good riding in her. Especially when she was shined up and the moon-roof was opened. And though she was quite expensive to maintain, I had no intentions of ever getting rid of my baby Kay. In fact, she sorta validated me. I felt my worth through her (thank God for deliverance!),
Then, I got a reality check.
Soooo, after attempting to jumpstart Kay didn't work, I called AAA. They took about two hours to come. Did I mention that it was hotter than hot? On top of that, we were looking and feeling a hot mess. Unfortunately, AAA couldn't jump my car either. Told me, "it's dead." They recommended that I call another AAA consultant to tow my car to the dealer for repair. That took another hour or so for them to come.
As we were waiting, I don't know if it was the heat or if I had matured over a matter of hours, but I thought about how long I had Kay---12 years!! And although she still looked stunning (when that midnight blue shined.....IT SHINED), she was sick. Seems like every other month I was replacing spark plugs or getting new run flats. Over the years, I had done my absolute best to keep her running, but the truth of the matter....she was exhausted. And, I was exhausted.
I had to make some decisions.
By the time the tow truck came, I had already called a dealer and started the application for a new car. I made a faith move and had the tow truck driver drive us to the dealer (not the BMW dealer) with Kay hauling on the back. When we got there, I emptied out Kay, said my tearless goodbyes and celebrated my new car........a Mazda.
On July 7, 2018......Kay died in the junkyard. It was as if God had orchestrated her death in such a way that I couldn't help but be okay with it. Seven is the number of completion in the Bible. That day I hit double sevens (7/7/18)---meaning my life with Kay was completed and my need to be validated through material things was completed.
Over the last weeks, I've noticed that my mindset has shifted. I had been thinking about financial goals and what big-ticket items I wanted to purchase this year. However, I no longer feel driven for material things. I'm loving this new thought of applying my money towards making memories with loved ones---like more traveling and attending more events. Being with my family for my brother's wedding was EVERYTHING!!
The Jill that would be antsy about getting what I wanted and not seeing beyond not getting it is fading.
For the last few months I had my mind set on purchasing a cobalt blue quilted lambskin Chanel purse. I had been wanting this purse forever. And now that I have the money (I mean freed up my credit cards) to purchase it, my desires have shifted. Truthfully, I would've marveled over that purse for a few weeks, carried it about twice, and then tossed it in my purse bin with all of the other no-longer trendy designer bags I've rationalized keeping over the years. Nope. I'm a mature, grown woman with grown woman responsibilities. Right? I'd rather spend that couple thousand dollars on some spur-of-the-moment weekenders to catch my favorite music artists in a city I've never visited, or hop on a flight to Cabo with my besties.
I'm slowly turning into someone new. And, I think I like her.
Therefore if any man be in Christ, he is a new creature: old things are passed away; behold, all things are become new. -- 2 Corinthians 5:17